What is it that you want to change? Are you expecting or hoping for better results in your career, your health, your relationships, or your daily activities? It could be something as small as waking up 1/2 hour earlier to start your day or something as big as losing 100 pounds. I think that there is always room for change because most people want to be more successful in whatever they do.
One day when I was trying to figure out why something was not changing I remembered a quote by Albert Einstein: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” When I remembered this quote I realize that it’s because I WAS doing the same thing over and over again. I may want things to change, but am I doing what is necessary to change and being consistent with those changes? Probably not. How could I expect different results when I am not consistent?
Change is not easy because it might involve something we are afraid to try. It is one of the most difficult things to do. And as we get older, the mindset that many of us adopt is that the older we get, the more difficult it is to change our patterns. We feel like we are in a rut, but fortunately, we don’t have to remain that way. The truth of the matter is, that no matter where we are in life or where we came from, we’ve got the ability to set big goals and achieve them.
Changing your habits requires that you first change your mindset. Most people believe that it takes 21 days in a row for a habit to form. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. The 21-day myth began as a misinterpretation of Dr. Maxwell Maltz’s work on self-image. He stated that it requires a “minimum of about 21 days for an old mental image to dissolve and a new one to jell.” According to another study conducted in 2009 from the University College London, the time it takes to form a habit really isn’t that clear-cut. The habits of 96 people were examined over a 12 week period, and researchers found that the average time it takes to create a new habit is actually 66 days; furthermore, individual times varied from 18 to a whopping 254 days.
What I take away from these studies is that if you want to change your mindset and develop a new behavior, it will take at least two months. But, don’t give up if after three weeks you have not yet formed the desired habit. For most people that’s simply not enough time. If you are able to stick with it, you’ll end up with a habit you can keep without thinking.
I am working on changing my mindset to reach goals that I desire because they are a priority to me. Following is a list of things that I am working on to make the necessary changes last.
- Change your priorities
To have a balanced and fulfilling life you should put your relationships and passion above money. Having or creating a fulfilling life is more important than all the money in the world and going to a job day in and day out that is unfulfilling, is not the answer. Make time for family and figure out what you are passionate about! Then find a way to do what you love each and every day! You will be much happier, I promise!
2. Adjust your thinking.
Change your self-talk. Negative self-talk from prior experiences and emotional mindsets have a significant influence in our lives. When there is self-doubt, and limiting beliefs, negative attitudes are created. You would be amazed at how many automatic negative thoughts that we are not even aware of occur in our minds each day. That little nagging voice in our head saying, “I’m not smart enough,” “I hate doing things,” “I can’t do this,” “I’m not qualified”, “I’m out of shape”, …. yada, yada, yada.
These negative voices in your head play a significant part in your mindset. There is a saying, “What you think about, you bring about.” To develop a positive attitude you must change your self-talk into positive talk. Remind yourself daily, “I am beautiful,” “I can do this”, “Anything is possible”, “I am living the life of my dreams”, and “The sky’s the limit”. The next time you think of a negative thought, turn it around and quickly replace it with a
positive one.
3. Find your why?
Habits are not easy to break but finding your “why”, what motivates you and your reason to change, is important. Motivation give us the power to change. Do you want to improve a relationship, lose weight, be passionate about what you do for a living? Find something that will impact your life in a big way and write it down on paper or a post it note. I have a row of post-it notes on the mirror in my bathroom so that I see my “why” and my goals throughout the day. Every time I pass by the mirror, I stop and read my them out loud as if I have already accomplished them. It helps to keep me centered and motivated.
4. Don’t beat yourself up
Realize that motivation and willpower are not enough. We all start each day with good intentions. Motivation can be hard to maintain no matter how important your goal may be – and that’s when willpower is supposed to kick in. But, we wake up each morning trying to eat healthier until we get into the office. That’s when we see donuts and bagels and sometimes, “that’s all she wrote”. Or, we were planning on going to the gym after work and find that we have to work late or had a stressful day. When that happens, we usually don’t make it to the gym (or at least, I don’t.).
It doesn’t take long to give up our goals when we rely on motivation and willpower to achieve them. Our “why” sometimes is not enough. That’s why 25% of people give up on a goal after the first week, and 73% quit after the first month.
If you accept the fact that it is not easy to stick to your goals, maybe you will stop mentally punishing yourself for not fulfilling your them and sticking to the the plan. Then, tomorrow, you will wake up optimistically and be willing to try again!
5. Start small
Start with small daily actions to obtain big results. When changes are too big, they may be too overwhelming and then people don’t want to start or don’t know where to begin, so they don’t start at all. When changes are small, they are easier to achieve and maintain. This leads to increased self-confidence and are more likely to become habit forming. Focusing of frequent, achievable little goals, whether you’re looking to improve your health, fitness, finance, or relationships, will lead to success.
Changing your mindset doesn’t happen overnight. Make it a daily habit, regardless if you are struggling with it or not. Eventually, you will become comfortable with the change and it will it become a habit. Everyday I am working on how to improve my thoughts to attract everything I want and need in my life. I have just read, “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne, which has helped me change my mindset. It is a quick ready and well worth your time.
I would love to hear from you and what your thoughts are on this topic.
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